


Determination

by Burningchaos



Series: Separation Series [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-10
Updated: 2010-11-10
Packaged: 2018-01-11 23:30:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1179236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burningchaos/pseuds/Burningchaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Separation Series</p>
            </blockquote>





	Determination

Six months after Rodney was taken, John began to feel desperate. It was the bone jarring, claw out your guts kind of desperation that seeped into everything he touched. He had, at one point or another, pissed off everyone on Atlantis. He had, in fact, pissed Atlantis off too if the way the puddle jumpers failed to respond to him for almost a week was any indication. He had made lots of enemies, because every world he went to he was demanding knowledge about Rodney’s kidnappers, to which there was little to no reply. It wasn’t like he could even offer a description. John was starting to feel as if these people were ghosts, or myth’s, there was nothing about them anywhere. They had to exist, though because Rodney didn’t vanish in to thin air.

When they found Ford eight months into the search John felt a small surge of joy. He and his enzyme freaks were all for helping them find Rodney. Ford liked the scientist, always had and he even accepted the fact that John was Rodney’s lover. Ford had just laughed and said something along the lines of ‘about damn time, sir’. John had a renewed sense hope, if just for a little while, because Ford and his team could go where his teams couldn’t.

John would dream, he would taste, smell, and feel Rodney as if he were still moving against him. He would hold conversations with Rodney in his head begging him to hold on, that he was trying, that nothing would stop him. John would wake from these dreams a little more broken, and even more resolved.

Struggling, John screamed at Elizabeth as she had Lorne drag him away and Carson sedate him while they held a ceremony declaring Rodney dead. He tried to tell them _if_ Rodney was gone he would know, he would feel it. He hated that he was crying in front of everyone because how he felt shouldn’t have ever had to be on display like this. He hated the looks, the pitying glances, and the murmurs of denial or insanity. It drove him wild and he knew, he just knew if he stayed here he would never succeed.

Oddly, his one supporter was Caldwell. John had never expected it of the man, had never even thought that they would see eye to eye. Yet John was called to the Daedalus then he, Caldwell and Hermiod had a nice long chat. John left with an Asguard tracking device designed to react only to Rodney’s DNA and permission to continue his search. Caldwell told Elizabeth the pentagon was stepping in and had decided McKay was too valuable to be left as a question mark or MIA. Really it was just Caldwell and General O’Neill, but hey, it was a start. John didn’t know why they were helping him and he didn’t care, all he wanted to do was find Rodney.

Planet after planet and still he found nothing, no traces of what or where the kidnappers were, or if Rodney was alive. John couldn’t fathom going on without him so he refused to think that way. He was rapidly losing faith though. He felt empty and hollow, like he was walking through a nightmare that had somehow become his life.

Nighttime was still the worst because now he would lay awake and replay every moment he and Rodney had shared. He would hear every laugh relive every smile. He would wake up not knowing he had fallen asleep and then remember he was alone. It almost made him miss the dreams he had when this all started.

John went back to the world where Rodney had been taken from even though he had been here a hundred times it was a last resort. Today was the one-year anniversary of the kidnapping and John had never felt more alone than he did right now. He was no closer to finding Rodney now then he had been a year ago. He was the only one left searching; it was always ‘John, it has been to long’ or ‘sir, it is useless he is just gone’. He refused to give up.

He settled down for the night in exactly the same place as the first time. This time he lit no fires; he opened no tents or food. There was no sign that he was even there. John was hoping, god what a fragile feeling that was, that they would return to the scene of the crime. That maybe they came through here yearly, hell he knew he was grasping at straws but it was all he had anymore.

A noise startled him and John cursed the fact he had fallen asleep. He sat up abruptly and quietly moved toward the sounds. He paused for a moment when he realized there were no insect sounds, no sounds at all except the ones he was heading to. He silently griped his P-90 tighter and moved forward. John had seen a lot in his travels but these…things shocked even him. Tall, and white with no noses, just a hollow space where it should be. Long limbs that were in motion as they walked, John sank back into he brush as one looked his way and he saw gleaming red eyes. The alien in front made a loud screech that reminded John of nails on a chalkboard as they stepped up to the DHD.

He knew these were what had taken Rodney. As he listened to them ‘talking’ he remembered the sound, he had heard it the first time they were here. They had all thought it was an animal, but it was far from it. These creatures had done something to make them sleep and took Rodney from him. As one begin to dial John yanked out his video recorder, he needed proof if he was going to get help. He looked at their claws and shuddered, he needed help because this was not something he could do alone. He just hoped that Rodney was still alive.


End file.
